I hope that you are proud of me,
Down here it gets hard to manage sometimes.
I panic sometimes.
I even act outlandish sometimes.
But that's because no one appreciates my vulnerability yet.
Not even me,
I even see,
That I want to cry at times,
To cover up what's inside at times.
I miss you, but my dreams tell me to smile.
The richness of your blood runs through my veins.
Your life lessons are forever engraved in my brain.
The love that you shared,
I've always retained.
I've lost so many things,
But lately I have regained...God.
I know that you would say,
"He's the main thing, and even if you fail always maintain,
And Evan, keep your Bible, that's your mainframe."
You'd say you love me,
And I'd tell you the same thing.
But this seed that you watered in me is growing now.
It's showing how,
I have a purpose, so I'm not slowing down.
I love you dearly, selfishly.
I miss you.
I sure hope you're proud of me, and everything I've been through.
I know you're smiling down.
I walked into blessings I never meant to.
I won't question God for taking you,
I'm just so thankful that he sent you.